Did you know that it is actually easier to ask a good looking girl out? Most big boys out there tend to make things completed. You don't have to practice a speech or get your head swirling about what to say or not to say.
Today morning I was traveling with a friend of mine in a taxi. She started explaining how she doesn't like small talks. I asked why. She said, "you guys sometimes act like jerks. You don't even know what to say to us and the best thing you can do is find small short talk that annoys." Well, I can attribute most of that attitude to her personality. She likes engaging dialogue. To get a good grasp of what she meant, I asked again, "So, what kind of smooth talk is acceptable to a good looking girl of your type?". She turned and looked at me with an easier face. Word!
She made to say, "A guy says something like, 'I know you have heard this many times but i still want to say you look really cute' or beautiful, or nice or very cool. Apparently babes," she continues, "babes like nice words. It turns their attention even if it is little attention. Then your good looking girl will say, 'Thanks', in a nice way. Then you continue to say something like, 'by the way I am Daniel, nice to meet you ...' And she will reply the expected. You continue with, 'So, do you have a boyfriend or what? I am jealous already'. Obviously that sounds nice too and welcome. It means you are interested in her, and you are also implying that she is attractive too. She will probably say something like, 'No', and quickly add, 'I am not interested in guys. I am fine by myself'. It doesn't matter if she has or doesn't have. All you need is to make sure you have her number and ask her out. Most girls with boyfriends will be tempted to say no. They love outings mostly and that is no offense in anyway. Someone once said, outings with other people are fun even when you are married! That is practically true. Meeting new people and spending a little time talking and chatting is one way the Universe keeps in harmony.
So you say something like, 'I would love to go out with you sometime. I am sure you don't mind, do you?' If she is a free-spirited girl, she wont turn you down. She will say something like, 'No, I don't mind'. Not to be the jerk, the next step is to get her number by asking her nicely. 'Can I please have your number?' or 'Do you mind if i get your number?' would be appropriate"
She paused and looked at me. Then she quickly said, "I will usually say something like, I will give you my number but wont take yours... I will get it when you call"
Amazing, isn't it? No one says you have to follow what I have written up there and no one says things will go smooth and easy like that. The point is, approaching a good looking girl should not be something next to impossible. And no one says whoever you talk to will give you her number or agree to your outings or charms. And that's not offensive either. Some girls have their own satisfactions, their own lives and their own proggie... For example, she may be honest and say, 'Sorry, I am engaged' or, 'Sorry, I don't give out my number to strangers!' or, 'I am really busy, I can't go out any soon'... Whatever excuse or turn-down you receive, don't take it so personal. Take NO as good as YES. Some people who fear rejection never really take their ass off the ground. NO is not rejection in its deepest sense. And by deepest sense i mean, NO is another way of saying, today your luck with me is off, you can try someone else or try me another time. By this time, someone turning you down even to be your girlfriend or mate is not something you should gross over. It is something that you should take lightly and move on. Move on. Mooooove onnnn! Period.
There is what we call Behavioral Psychology! Ok, I wont go there for now. I meant to say that people behave differently under different circumstances. She may say No to you, and say Yes to another on the same day. Well, it could be that you made an impression of a real jerk or it could be that you are probably not her type. Or it could be that she is not your type. Seriously, do you think that just because someone is cute means she is your type? Or do you think you will always find someone who opens up that easily and gives every Tim, Tom and Tedd a chance to go out, and date and pretend they don't have a boyfriend even when they do, or is it that they just love outings with whoever at any time of the year? You see, you might even go out and destroy your reputation that you built. Suddenly you don't know what to talk about. Suddenly you land into an ex who gives you a hug and makes your new fish get a turn off. Suddenly her boyfriend shows up in the same place! Suddenly, there is a brawl or fire or a damn thief-bag-snatcher! Not to worry though, don't be a pessimist.
If things will go wrong, they probably will. Just don't be the cause either in your thoughts or deeds. Certainly you may NOW go today or tomorrow and ask that sweet babe out. Go ask them if they got a second and find a way of saying it lest it cause a tumor in your brain. Words are full of power. It depends on how you organise them to construct a sentence. If you have watched a TV show called Burn Notice, you see how Micheal Western (Jeffrey Donovan) gets to the enemy. He behaves like them to get to them. He establishes rapport(by far the most effective tool), knows which words to say and how to act, and how to make them believe what he wants them believe. Moreover, he is tactical and very good. Real good. That is how we get to connect with the cutie. What does she like, what kind of words do she use (her diction), what makes her happy, what are her interests, and what does she do when she is with friends... Usually, this works best if its a build up on Chemistry between the two of you. I bet you understand what the law of attractive says.
For all its worth, never let the looks intimidate you or make your heart-beats triple. It's as easy as finding a way to say the first word and be the Micheal Western. Get them to say yes, and get them to discover what a world of likes you have in common. The imagination comes to, "It could be fun hanging out more and more and more...."
Monday, November 1, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
How to break or form a habit
From almost everyone's experience, habits are habits. They are so hard to form later on break. If you are the kind of person that opts to use positive thinking or affirmations or your entire willpower, a habit wont form or just go away just like that. I have done that and failed myself and i know that i have a strong will-power. More often you will find yourself dropping back slowly by slowly.
Lets say for example, you like talking a lot. Believe me some people are really talkative to the extent that they will talk and talk and talk, and just talk and talk some more. If you ask them about, say, the current job of an ex-boyfriend, they will talk and probably tell you where the guy is, who he is dating, the schools he went to, the bad things he did, the kind of loser he is, and so on and so on... Talkers seem to just talk and talk and have all the crap to tell you (If you have never landed on one, pray you don't). Well, how do you break out of a habit like that? If you depend on your will power, you will probably succeed in the first few attempts. But trust me, this wont last for long.
Someone will ask you about your friend's family background and well, you might find yourself drifting to the relatives as well and probably your will-power will remind you to stop. This may happen for some time and you actually succeed though it wont last. So what's the real way to break a habit like that?
30 day breaking!
Its been preached widely mostly by inspirational speakers or motivators, and is a proven method for forming or breaking a habit (good or bad). Take 30 days to monitor yourself. If it's talking too much, pinch yourself before you start. Say a few words to satisfy someone's inquiry and do not assume that they expect more. If they do, let them ask more, if they don't ask, don't offer. If it is eating too many times a day that cause you to be fat, then don't store food or search for it during the day. Replace it with water or just some yogurt. If you want to get athletic, make sure you do some jogging, some gym and whatever else you want to do to achieve. Do it for 30 days constant. Constant means contact by the way, not most of the times or some...
If you want to start meditation, set time apart and do it constantly. If you are fat and want to reduce weight, draw a plan and follow through for 30 days. Some say 21 days will do just fine but don't do 21 days. Do 30 days straight...
More often than not, it is sometimes irritating having to follow through to form or break a certain habit. The reminder of committing to something every single day constantly is boring to most people and they just give up. However, keep in mind what you want to break or form and whether it is important to you or not. Don't just waste time by trying out something even when you don't want to follow through. Most things in life take discipline, and you might want to take sometime off to think about discipline and take another step of self mastery and growth. That's what makes the difference between winners and losers, the wealthy and the poor, the weak and the strong...
In a period of one year, you can sit down and decide certain things you want to change about you for the better. It might be being more caring about your workmates, or improving the quality of your job, or learning to read inspiration or important books, or shading off that fat, or keeping in touch with your family, or cutting on drinking alcohol, or swimming, or singing, or dancing, or writing a book, or making friends or just starting a relationship for the better intentions. Whatever it is, you can make it! Yes you can!!! The longest journeys begin with just one step. You don't have to do it all in one go and no one expects you to anyway. It's your life. If you take time to notice our mother nature, you will find all the beauty in patience and discipline, borrow a leaf.
For now, go start something that will propel you to greater heights. If you are confused about what to form or break, begin with this simple act of forming a habit. Take sometime off before you sleep. Turn off the music, the TV, the phone and have some quiet moment by yourself. Like in 30 minutes or so, breathe in deeply several times and relax. Just relax and be calm. Take your mind off everything and say something like: "I am grateful to be alive! I am peace, i am love, i am joy. The world is on my side every single moment and i shall not despair. Amen." You can then allow your muscles to relax one by one until you completely feel calm and peaceful. Those are simple words and actions but they carry a sense of oneness and peace.
And for now, i am always wishing you the very best that life has to offer. Let it be according to your desires to form or break the habits in your life...
Lets say for example, you like talking a lot. Believe me some people are really talkative to the extent that they will talk and talk and talk, and just talk and talk some more. If you ask them about, say, the current job of an ex-boyfriend, they will talk and probably tell you where the guy is, who he is dating, the schools he went to, the bad things he did, the kind of loser he is, and so on and so on... Talkers seem to just talk and talk and have all the crap to tell you (If you have never landed on one, pray you don't). Well, how do you break out of a habit like that? If you depend on your will power, you will probably succeed in the first few attempts. But trust me, this wont last for long.
Someone will ask you about your friend's family background and well, you might find yourself drifting to the relatives as well and probably your will-power will remind you to stop. This may happen for some time and you actually succeed though it wont last. So what's the real way to break a habit like that?
30 day breaking!
Its been preached widely mostly by inspirational speakers or motivators, and is a proven method for forming or breaking a habit (good or bad). Take 30 days to monitor yourself. If it's talking too much, pinch yourself before you start. Say a few words to satisfy someone's inquiry and do not assume that they expect more. If they do, let them ask more, if they don't ask, don't offer. If it is eating too many times a day that cause you to be fat, then don't store food or search for it during the day. Replace it with water or just some yogurt. If you want to get athletic, make sure you do some jogging, some gym and whatever else you want to do to achieve. Do it for 30 days constant. Constant means contact by the way, not most of the times or some...
If you want to start meditation, set time apart and do it constantly. If you are fat and want to reduce weight, draw a plan and follow through for 30 days. Some say 21 days will do just fine but don't do 21 days. Do 30 days straight...
More often than not, it is sometimes irritating having to follow through to form or break a certain habit. The reminder of committing to something every single day constantly is boring to most people and they just give up. However, keep in mind what you want to break or form and whether it is important to you or not. Don't just waste time by trying out something even when you don't want to follow through. Most things in life take discipline, and you might want to take sometime off to think about discipline and take another step of self mastery and growth. That's what makes the difference between winners and losers, the wealthy and the poor, the weak and the strong...
In a period of one year, you can sit down and decide certain things you want to change about you for the better. It might be being more caring about your workmates, or improving the quality of your job, or learning to read inspiration or important books, or shading off that fat, or keeping in touch with your family, or cutting on drinking alcohol, or swimming, or singing, or dancing, or writing a book, or making friends or just starting a relationship for the better intentions. Whatever it is, you can make it! Yes you can!!! The longest journeys begin with just one step. You don't have to do it all in one go and no one expects you to anyway. It's your life. If you take time to notice our mother nature, you will find all the beauty in patience and discipline, borrow a leaf.
For now, go start something that will propel you to greater heights. If you are confused about what to form or break, begin with this simple act of forming a habit. Take sometime off before you sleep. Turn off the music, the TV, the phone and have some quiet moment by yourself. Like in 30 minutes or so, breathe in deeply several times and relax. Just relax and be calm. Take your mind off everything and say something like: "I am grateful to be alive! I am peace, i am love, i am joy. The world is on my side every single moment and i shall not despair. Amen." You can then allow your muscles to relax one by one until you completely feel calm and peaceful. Those are simple words and actions but they carry a sense of oneness and peace.
And for now, i am always wishing you the very best that life has to offer. Let it be according to your desires to form or break the habits in your life...
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